Step-mother Tongue

 

            A few questions lead to arguments while few arguments raise questions that only the future can answer. I was put in front of such a question when an intriguing argument filled our dining table. The other day when my friend asked me a question between his spoons of soup, ‘Which do you think is superior, Tamil or English?’ That is a question I cannot easily answer. Because I am a child of Tamil Matha and the heir of English Desk; born in, loved, and respected Tamil while researching English and English literature. I was quick on the trigger and came up with a hypothetical answer for the hypo-temperate question. 

 

            The best way to answer an uncertain question is to give a question back as an answer. I asked him, ‘Who do you think is intelligent, A Ph.D. Scholar or a Kinder Garden Kid who got a hundred marks in his exam?’ He couldn’t answer and I was glad he couldn’t. It saved me another page of explanation. No language in the world older than five thousand years is alive in the forms of written, spoken, and literature other than our Tamil. But, no language including Tamil has the fastest growth in just one thousand and four hundred years like English. The comparison is amiss. Like this, I answered his question and moved from the soup to the main course.

 

            The main course won’t be that easy to digest as the soup. My friend came up with an argument this time. “English is widespread only because of technology.” That was rude of him, I thought. “Though they have technology like Google in their hands, Sundar Pichai, a Tamil man is the CEO of it”, he added with joy and ego on the two corners of his smile. I laid my spoon down and asked him, ‘My friend, Was your question about Tamil and English, or Southern men and Western men? Because I only answered the early and not the later.’  

 

            My pathetic friend did not realize he is laying the foundation for a long and boring lecture during his eventful meal. I started my lecture with this. ‘Let us handle this comparison with three stages. The ancient Tamil man was more intelligent than us. He was a million years ahead in science and wisdom. But the middle Aryan Tamil man was quite dull. English men at that time were capable enough to rule them down for decades and centuries. And the contemporary Tamil men are equally capable and intelligent to the competing English men’, I finished. ‘Is he not superior?’ his ego asked.

 

            Our ego will never allow us to accept our own flaws. He is not superior but he is faster, I said to convince his ego. He leaned front eager to listen more. I made him clearer. Youngsters of Tamilnadu are in the search while the youngsters of English countries are in the catch. I extended my explanation as he did not understand. English youngsters know what to choose but are unable to catch it, yet chasing it. But our youngsters have caught many in hands but still baffled what to choose; the realization of which will take him higher and to the highest.

           

            My friend’s argumentative attitude slowed down and slowly he started to get a point from my words. I was waiting for that moment to reveal the philosophy. An argumentative mind will only search forth knowledge and not wisdom. Only the peaceful and listening mind will attain wisdom. When he was really ready, he asked, ‘What do we lack and how do we choose?’

 

             When only the young know or the old does, the country will shine. The young are capable and strong but uncertain about what must be done. The old is wise but feeble and fragile. This barrier can be removed through communication. The lack of communication between the young and the old is the major problem for the uncertainty in the life choices and career decisions of the youngsters of Tamilnadu. The old has the experience and wisdom which he can pass it down to the young through communicating his days of struggle and happiness. But the communication must be in the form of stories and events and not of advice. Advice may be wise but not effective. The young can consult his decision with the elders as a discussion but not the submission. He has his own life on his own hands anyway at the end of the day. Reducing the space between young and old will bring wonders.

 

            The friend inside me, the part of my brain that questioned all my answers is now stomach filled. We ended our meal with dessert. The desserts are the sweetest as they bring to the story of our meal a happy ending. ‘Do not let your thoughts wander during the food’, my mom thumbed the table hard to bring me back to reality. Advice is ineffective. Maybe she must have told me her story of not wandering thoughts during the food.